I’ve gone Android, I love it, and I’m probably not coming back.

For years I was a blackberry evangelist.  I’d attempt to turn anyone within earshot on to the blackberry, espousing its benefits while meticulously addressing the shortcomings of the competition.  The iPhone?  “Sure, it’s a great phone, but it lacks multitasking, a video camera (at the time), a flash, push notifications, etc.”

Well, the times have changed….

RIM, you’re now in a three-way dogfight, and let me tell you, the iPhone Android 1-2 punch is going to KO you unless you listen very carefully.  (Yeah yeah, I don’t care about your record 3Q09 earnings or 10 million devices sold in the quarter)  Forget playing catch up, you have a two year window to drop a killer device before you’re relegated to “your father’s phone” status and join Palm in a long slow decline towards the technological dustbin of history.

So here’s my unsolicited advice.  Heed it RIM, lest you’ll jump the technoshark!

Hardware……

1) An Arm A8 Cortex while nice, is still playing catch up.  The 3Gs, Pre, and Droid are all sporting that processor TODAY. So obviously getting ahead involves not doing what your competition is doing NOW, but doing NOW what they’re going to do in the future. That’s right, it’s time to unleash a 1ghz snapdragon powered ‘Berry on the masses.  Think about how nice that will look in print.  “The Storm 3 featuring a lightening fast 1ghz cpu!”.  Now sure, we know that raw cpu clock cycles are just a factor along with OS optimization, what/how many apps are running, etc, but it’s a hell of a selling point.

2) There have been a few rumors that you’ve been messing around with “liquid lens” camera technology.  Make this happen. Things like this put you on another level from your competition.

RIM Field Rep:“Sure, we’ve got wi-fi, bluetooth 2.1, GPS, all that good stuff, but does the Google phone or iPhone have an insane camera….like this?”

*CLICK*

(The room fills with hushed whispers and erupts into a polite golf clap)

RIM Field Rep: “Yeah, I didn’t think so!”

3) Wi-fi and a camera flash should be on every device here on out.  No excuses.  Old Curve had a flash, new Curve does not = negative progress = RIM are morons. I mean seriously, what was the thought process behind this move? A bunch of engineers are sitting around the table, and one suggests “since the handset marketplace is becoming increasingly competitive, I humbly suggest we REMOVE a feature standard on most phones made in the past 5 years”. They all agreed and then most likely took Phil (or that damn Steve) out for drinks in celebration of his genius idea.

4) Location awareness is the new hotness, so hint hint add a digital compass.  (3Gs and Droid both have one)  The “oohs” and “aahs” generated when I load up Streetview or Google Sky have already sold a few of my friends on an Android device. They once wanted a Blackberry, but now they want to “do all that cool shit your Google phone does”. Their words, not mine.

Now with that out of the way, here are some further suggestions…

a) Add a Pico Projector. Yes I’m serious. Take a page out of LG’s book and start development as an add on accessory. Think of all the uses for it if done correctly. Office road warriors could show powerpoint presentations on the wall at McDonalds. Williamsburg and SF hipsters could project trippy visuals on the celing to accompany their riveting Tupac/Frank Sinatra mashup DJ sets. I’m totally convinced that the Pico Projector will be as ubiquitous as the cell phone camera within 5 years. Work the kinks out of the system before HTC does. Then, after you further miniaturize the tech, slap that chip on the mainboard and call it a day.

b) I recently read that Texas Instruments or maybe Samsung (I’ll see if I can find a link later, which realistically means I’ll google it for five minutes and give up) has an HDTV antenna chip that can fit in a cellphone. That’s right folks, the capability to watch “Wheel of Fortune” in all its high def glory while riding the bus exists! C’mon RIM, be the first to deliver us to this utopia.

c) People seem to care (I’m not one of them) about an FM tuner.  Add one. I have a feeling that Apple may do this with their 4th gen iPhone, so beat them to the punch.

Look, the goal with your hardware should be to maintain parity with the competition, and then have one or two unique (or rare) features that set your devices apart. You have this with the “World Phone” party trick, which I’ll admit is pretty handy. Now it’s time to find an impressive feature for the majority of us that never travel outside the country.

Software

1) Most people don’t sit around on Crackberry.com and Howardforums.com all day hitting the refresh button.  New Facebook upgrade? New BB messenger bug fix?  New App Store version? I’ll never know unless I religiously surf tech sites, or my Blackberry geek friend tells me!

One of the best Android features is the instant update notification.  Now this is complicated, so bear with me here. Whenever an update is available for an app, I get an instant notification. Not only that, but it’s one click to install. Furthermore, after the install, there’s no reboot. Let’s let our good friend, the ordered list, explain….

The Android approach
1. On screen, “update available for Twitter app” appears out of nowhere
2. Click a single button to install
3. Install complete, launch Twitter app while humming Queen’s “We are the Champions”

The Blackberry approach
1. Read on Crackberry, Boygenius, Engadget, etc that Ubertwitter has been updated
2. Open Blackberry browser and type in “www.ubertwitter.com/upgrade_me_now” or whatever
3. Install done, now reboot device to complete
4. Go solve world peace in the time it takes the handset to boot back up

I’m amazed at the update frequency of all the apps on my Droid. It seems that I’m getting an update or two for something all the time. I LIKE THIS.

2) You MUST do something about the look and feel of your OS.
If you want to stay relevant, you are going to HAVE to find a way to bring the user experience up to par with the iPhone and Android.  That means kinetic scrolling, a Webkit browser, and multitouch, all in a snappy, slick interface.  I don’t care if you use Java for security or whatever purposes, I’m just telling you what’s broken, not how to fix it.  (That’s your problem)

You want to take it to the next level and thrash the iPhone?  Be one of the first to get Silverlight and full blown Flash on the phone. (I’d recommend acquiring Skyfire, as they’ve pretty much got this worked out already).

Note: I’m fully aware that RIM has acquired Torch Mobile and has Promised flash in 2010. For their sake, I hope they deliver.

General business practices

1) STOP doing dumb things like these micro incremental upgrades.  The Tour2, really?  You add wifi and a trackpad and call it a day?  Sure, there’s a rumored processor upgrade, but I’m a hardcore tech junkie, and I can’t even confirm this.  Regardless, the PERCEPTION is that it’s a Wi-Fi inclusion and a new trackpad. Same as the Storm 2 except swap the trackpad for a clickscreen tweak. This tired piecemeal approach is going to get you nowhere fast.

2) STOP diluting your product line!  There’s virtually no difference between the Tour and the Bold. Hang on, let’s step back….. Here’s a synopsis of your Current product line.

RIM’s plan to take over the world
1. Bold – For business power users
2. Tour – For consumer power users
3. Pearl – For women
4. Pearl Flip – For women
5. Curve – For high school students
6. Storm 2 – For gadgethead power users

I think you’re spreading yourself too thin here. Merge the Bold and Tour lines (or actually just discontinue the Tour altogether), and get rid of the the Pearl Flip. Then, build a new OS from the ground up for the Storm and use it as a guinea pig for the tech (digital compass, pico projector, HDTV antenna, unicorns) to trickle down into the rest of the handset line.

Techranter’s generous plan to help RIM take over the world
1. Bold – For fancy folk
2. Pearl – For girls
3. Curve – For broke people
4. Storm 2 – For people that really want an iphone

See? that’s a little more palatable! It’s all about simplification.

Conclusion – You’re probably screwed in the long run

RIM, your two major problems can be surmised with “your shit is old, and you’re taking too long to make your shit not old”. Neither the iPhone OS or Android are shackled within the constraints of legacy software. These are new modern operating systems, and they seem to have a scalability that your OS lacks. I know you have a lot of infrastructure to contend with, but you need to start thinking next generation NOW.

Apple chooses to stick on a single device, making their path to perfection straight forward. All their handset resources can be focused on making ONE piece of tech better. Android, with the might of Google behind it, has some seriously powerful resources. The platform is innovating at such a rapid pace, it sometimes gives me a headache. (Sky maps, Goggles, Listen, Places, the list goes on and on). They’ve tapped into the ADD of the modern gadgethead, offering us a steady stream of enhanced functionality that sates our wanderlust.

I want RIM to continue to innovate and succeed, if only because it will foster better competition. I also still have a soft spot in my heart because it was an 8700 that carried me over the smartphone threshold. The time has come however, for those up in Waterloo to make some cultural and technological changes. If all goes well, this won’t be goodbye, it’ll merely be see you later.