Archive for February, 2010

The three greatest apps ever made in the history of man

Every once in awhile you stumble across a utility that makes you utter the phrase “Sweet mother of Moses! This application is fucking insane!“. Well today, I’ve got three for you! The following apps are so awesome, their absence in your life should be considered a crime against humanity.

Note: I may be late to the game here. If you’re already using them, I tip my hat to you. If you haven’t heard of them, prepare for a new world of excellence.

Oh, and the best part? They’re all FREE AND they’ll all work on Android, Blackberry, and the iPhone.

SugarSync

We’ll start off with the app that inspired this post.

What it does

As you might extrapolate from the name, it um.. syncs stuff. I tried to type an explanation, but it really ended up making no sense.

Here’s a diagram…..

To get up and running

1) Go HERE to sign up for the entry level 2 GB acct.
2) Go to the Downloads page. There are two components you’ll need. The program that runs on your computer, and the app for your mobile device. Install them.
3) On your computer(s), select which folder you want to share with your other devices.

Welcome to your new life

Note: Your phone (or comp without Illustrator installed) obviously can’t read the file. You can still email it, delete it, copy it, etc. Anything except open it. Sweet!

1) Put the wrong version of a work file on your memory stick before you ran out of the house? No prob, just log into your account at work via a browser and download it.

2) A friend razzing you at a party about “never emailing that picture”? Too bad the file is at home on your computer. Oh wait a minute! Whip out your iphone and bring up “desktop computer”. Navigate to your picture folder and hit email.

3) Take a lot of pictures on your phone? Sure you do. Ever copy them to your home computer? I bet you don’t. It won’t be a problem anymore, so I’m glad you never wasted time getting into that habit.

Qik

This app is best described as “turns your phone into a streaming webcam”. There’s not much else to say about it. Pull your iPhone/’Berry/Android phone out and start filming. The video will be streamed in real-time up to your “youtube” style Qik account. You can also share it straight to FaceBook and Twitter. You have the option to make a video private and share with a select few, or you can make it public and share it with all.

To get up and running

Go here to sign up for an account. Then, go to the respective app store for your phone and download the mobile software.

Welcome to your new life


There are also some other helpful uses….

Google voice

Gvoice integrates a whole new level of awesome into not only cellphone, but your regular phone as well.

To get up and running

Go here to request an invite.
Wait a week until you get your info
Go here to sign up and put all the settings in.
Download the app for your phone.

Multiple Phones

One of the strongest features is that you’re not limited to one phone. If someone calls your GV#, it can ring as many lines as you want. When the number is dialed, both your cell number and house number will ring. Whichever you pick up first obviously takes the call. You can even switch between lines mid call.

Allow me to illustrate…

You can also do some neat GPS tricks

Welcome to your new life

1) You can’t find your phone/dropped it on the floor. Until you find or fix it, route all calls to your house number.
2) Spending a weekend visiting family in an area with horrible cell coverage? No worries, just route to both cell and their house. If the cell has reception you’ll get the call, otherwise, your “back up”, the house phone will get it.
3) Use the number for emergency only. Your kids have a problem, they call and it rings both parents and grand parents phones. Increase the chances of them getting help faster.
4) You’re on a work call and just ran in the house door. Cell battery is about to die, but you can’t find the charger. Pick up the home phone and switch the call to it. You’ll close the deal!

Multiple People

For some reason I always hate giving out my phone number for a one or two use purpose. Hotels, signing up for something, Chinese food, freelance work, etc. Gvoice gives you robust control over individual numbers.

Another illustration……

Welcome to your new life

Have a client that literally went insane halfway through a project? I have! Although I pulled out, the client kept calling and emailing me for advice as if nothing ever happened. Filter on gmail + Filter on Gvoice = Person no longer exists

Multiple Voicemail Greetings

Gvoice isn’t only about complex call routing and avoiding insane clients though, it can be fun!

Final pict-o-gram……..

Welcome to your new life

Your wacky message will brighten their day!

I hope you use and love these apps. They’ve made my life easier, and I think they can do the same for you. I have a few more I’ll be adding to the list at some point in the future. Until then…

Text 542542 to get ripped off

These days, it seems like I’m constantly bombarded with TV ads that instruct me to text strange numbers like 13456 or 433453. While a minuscule number of these services are actually useful, the majority have little or no use at all. An example of the former is the ease in which one can make a donation to Haitian disaster relief. Click a few numbers, hit send, and you’ve hopefully made a tiny difference. The rest, however, belong to the “joke of the day” or “download an Akon ringtone” for THREE BUCKS camp. A few simple steps (use web for jokes, convert Akon track in iTunes to mp3 and copy to your phone, etc) can easily circumvent the need for such services. One company these days is especially drawing my ire, no doubt because of their irritating omnipresent ad campaign. The question “why does this company exist?” baffles me to the core of my being.

Let’s get to work, shall we?

The amount of information the data age has placed at our fingertips is beyond comprehension. There’s almost nothing a determined individual can’t figure out. Ironically, these advances have come with a downside that can offset the very empowerment they’ve provided. Researching a topic is no longer the problem, it’s making sense of the sheer volume of information returned when we’ve made a query. The signal-to-noise ratio has gotten out of control.

So enter KGB, a service that allows you to text a question to a number and have it promptly answered by a member of their extensive team of “Agents”.  Each query, in addition to any carrier text rates, will cost you 99 cents. Their tagline “get answers, not links” obviously anticipates the question on everyone’s mind.   Why not use a search engine?

KGB is absolutely correct, links are just an intermediary step to information. On the surface, they make a valid point. Do you want the damn answer or do you want to surf through 30,000 links to get it?. (Of course we know that you don’t actually have to surf through anything, 99% of the time the first link is all you need) To justify their existence, KGB has run a campaign of annoying TV spots (available here) that completely exaggerate the difficulty of a simple web query. (Yeah yeah, I know, the nemesis of truth, marketing, rears its head again) Take one of  those infomercials where someone is trying to perform a simple task like opening a piece of Tupperware.  They fiddle with it for a few seconds, flip it over and continue fiddling, and still unsuccessful, throw the container down on the table and wave around exasperated jazz hands. Yeah, KGB is saying that using Google is like that. Riiiight…..

Now I understand the need to make a buck, and an entrepreneurial spirit is fine in my book. That said, I see absolutely no need for this service. The fact is that Google, Wiki, and the web in general, don’t operate in a vacuum. Google is constantly tweaking their search algorithms and Wikipedia is always adding and refining new content. The point is they’re aware that the signal-to-noise ratio is getting out of hand, and they’re actively working to tip the scales back in our favor.

So here’s what you do to save yourself some money.  Instead of wasting a dollar on KGB, (who in all likelihood is just Googling something and texting it back) take five minutes out of your life to find some reliable sites to seek information.  The idea here is not to cut out the noise, but to find places free of it. Once you’ve found a few, bookmark them for future use, and let technological Darwin take care of KGB.

A problem arises

But what if don’t have a smart phone with internet, but you’re the type that needs to answer those random bar questions?  You’d think you don’t have a choice other than KGB. Not true at all! You have the choice to shut your trap, enjoy your damn beer, and avoid the whole mess. Seriously, run. Run like you’re Forest Gump, on fire, being chased by the Cloverfield monster.

“Oh stop being melodramatic” you’ll just tell me, what harm could possibly come of it? Well, since I have a few extra minutes on my hands, here’s one likely scenario.

It began with an innocent query

You had a long day at work, so you decide to stop by the local watering hole for a few cold ones. The usual suspects are inside, like always, so you head over and take your place with them at the bar.  Joe, to your left, is rambling about some incident at the construction site a few hours ago. The anecdote concludes with a can of WD40 saving the day. A quizzical look lingers on his face.

Say, what the hell does WD40 stand for anyway?

No one in the place has the faintest idea.  You recall a commercial about “text any crazy question to…”, so you whip out your cellphone and go for it.  A moment later a reply comes in.  You clear your throat, and offer up the answer with a nonchalant delivery.

After 39 failed attempts at displacing water, they finally got it right, hence, Water Displacement, 40th attempt

A round of hi-fives ensues. A guy at the end of the bar, believing you might be able to answer a question that’s always bothered him, speaks up.

Hey buddy, what’s the longest word in the English language?

Once again you whip out the ‘ol phone and feverishly text away.  The device emits a chirp, your answer has arrived.

Well my good man, at 45 letters that would be Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung condition you probably wouldn’t want!

His mental itch scratched, he orders you up a frosty beer on his dime. Now you’re a hit in the bar, but unfortunately you’re also a victim for anyone that’s had a random thought on the bus.

Another person approaches you.

Ok ok, my turn. You know those people that are scared of the number 13? What’s that called?

A text, a chirp.

Triskaidekaphobia is the fear, a triskaidekaphobic is the person with it.

By now, word has started to spread about “The Oracle of Joe’s Tavern”. Walter the Barfly, (who is secretly bitter at you because you won’t let your sister date him) sidles on over with a plan to show you up. At one time he was a video game developer, but he suffered a nervous breakdown at work, and found solace inside a whiskey glass. Thinking for a moment, he slurs out the most obscure thing he can come up with.

Alright genius boy, riddle me this. What’s “Cruise Elroy”?

This one will require some work, so you excuse yourself (to some razzes) for a cigarette.  Once out back, you launch off a volley of messages to KGB. *chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*.  You re-emerge, ready to attack.

Oh Walter, you incorrigible lush!

“Cruise Elroy” is a term coined by aficionados of the game Pac-Man.  When a predetermined number of “dots” on a given level are consumed, the behavior of the main antagonist (Blinky the red ghost) changes. This transformation, occurring earlier and earlier as the game progresses, increases the difficulty of the game in two ways. 

First, Blinky’s speed and aggressiveness goes off the charts, and Pac-Man’s ability to outrun AND outfox him, severely diminishes. 

Second, and this is a big one, is that “scatter mode” is altered. Under normal conditions, the four ghosts will occasionally give up pursuit and retreat to separate corners of the map, giving the player’s cramping hand a brief respite. Under the new behavior though, Blinky will cease to care about the risk of carpal tunnel to the player and doggedly continue his chase of Pac-Man. 

This aggressive state of Blinky, for unknown nerd reasons, is referred to as his “Cruise Elroy” state.

And you’re not done yet…

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the inspiration for the game came from the Japanese onomatopoeia for eating loudly, paku paku. It was originally called Puck-Man, but underwent a name change to Pac-Man when it came to the states. Company executives were worried that youthful rebellion, a magic marker, and 10 spare seconds would convert the name on the side of the machine to “Fuck-man”.

Now, does anyone have a DIFFICULT question?

The bar reacts with collective “OH SNAP!!!!” To articulate the awesomeness, you blow on each index finger and put your imaginary guns back in their holsters. A massive line then forms as each patron queues up to seek your sage advice. The Q & A continues until the bar closes.

*cue Platoon’s “The day after that big fucking battle at the end of the movie” theme*

You wake up the next morning, hungover and seriously late for work. The 323 free beers you had last night were awesome, but the savings did SQUAT to offset your phone bill which now totals $47,523.
From this point on, whenever you walk into the bar you’re peppered with a million queries. You’re now known as “Alex Trebek, King of the Barstool” or “the crazy dude glued to his phone who knows an inordinate amount of shit”.  Whenever you leave the bar, your phone bill has increased by triple digits.

The burden becomes so big, you must choose between avoiding the bar forever or seeking serious overtime to cover your trivia costs. You go with the former, because your wallet simply can’t absorb being omniscient, and your mind can’t handle the graveyard shift at the meat packing plant.

Meanwhile, a few patrons were getting sick at the tavern. Unfortunately for the owner Joe, one of them happened to be a trial lawyer who brought suit. It turns out that the beer ran through vintage keg taps from England that had lead lining in them. The suit covered all current patrons of the bar, and each eventually received $35,000.

Looking for a bigger payday, Walter the Barfly managed to quintuple his settlement at a shady card game in Atlantic City. Still resentful over the Pac-Man insult and now flush with cash, he hires a team of Lithuanian hit-men to “go Cruise Elroy on (your) ass”. So now you’re forced to live life on the run, sticking to wooded areas away from civilization for maximum safety. Because your phone bill tied up you finances, you couldn’t even fill up a duffel bag with Chef Boyardee cans to bring with you. Instead, you must survive on a diet of grubs and tree bark for sustenance. From this point on it becomes cloudy what happens, but I’ll wager it’ll be unpleasant.

What does WD40 mean? Apparently a life on the lam, where roadkill is a five star meal.

See? ‘Ol Techranter warned you to mind your business and enjoy your beer!

HTC Legend – Am I looking a the same pictures?


Now we all know the ‘ol “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” cliche, but I gotta tell you, I feel like I’m missing out on some practical joke here. This week, the Mobile World Congress is taking place over in Barcelona. You might have noticed, as there’s been a slew of hardware, software, and carrier announcements the past few days. HTC has been especially busy and just announced a handful of new phones, one being the HTC Legend. Now the device isn’t a bad looking piece of hardware, in fact I’d rank it well above Pontiac Aztek, but still below Concord. That said, I can’t figure out for the life of me why it’s garnering the following praise……

Gizmodo

Not only is HTC’s Legend their best-looking Android phone to date, I’m going to throw my hat in the ring and say it’s the best-looking Android phone period. Created from a single piece of aluminum, it’s more than MacBook-esque.

Androidcentral

The HTC Legend is easily the best looking phone of Mobile World Congress.

Engadget

The take away here is this phone is pure beauty and class, and an absolutely huge upgrade (as far as aesthetics go anyway, we’ll hold judgment til we can really test it out) from the HTC Hero it replaces

Mashable

… with its aluminum housing, the Legend definitely wins the beauty contest.

After staring at pictures of the phone for awhile, I decided to make this image.

I’m not sure if it’s possible to associate the words “beauty” and “ZOMG BEST EVERRR!” with the device pictured above, but hey, we’re all entitled to our opinions.

Google vs. Apple – This is going to be epic

<Michael Buffer>

Ladies and gentleman, tonight we have a bout of epic proportions. From the Blue corner, weighing in at $179 Billion and hailing from Cupertino California, the undisputed King of Sexy Hardware, the Lord of all things shiny, the Bane of Microsoft………aaaappplllle!!!!!!!

In the red corner, weighing in at $170 Billion, from Mountain View California, the Champion of Information, the company that knows more about YOU than YOU…………gooooglllllee!

LET’S GET ERRRRRREADY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
</Michael Buffer>

Simpler Times

The year was 2007, a young Shia LaBeouf was battling enormous intergalactic robots on the screen, Rihanna’s “Umbrella” rang from the rooftops, a watered down webpage called a blog was taking the internet by storm, and the cellphone geeks were clicking away on their hot new Blackberry Curve 8300’s. It was in those halcyon days that the mobile world would forever change, and the seeds of a rivalry would take root.

On June 29th, 2007, the iPhone was released to the public. The impact it had in both the technology sector and the public consciousness could only be described as transformative. Apple wasn’t the only one that would ultimately benefit from this new piece of hardware. Software companies and application developers worldwide immediately scrambled for their piece of the action. At the front of the scrum was Google, with their powerful web presence ready to share a special connection with Apple. The relationship was in many ways symbiotic. Google’s apps made the iPhone better, and the iPhone made Google’s apps better. The companies also worked closely on a lot of development issues. YouTube (owned by Google) even re-encoded ALL their videos into a more friendly H.264 format since the phone didn’t support Flash. They were so tightly knit in those times that Eric Schmidt, Google’s CEO, sat on Apple’s Board of Directors!

Google has to go off and do it’s thing

Google’s spirit of dabbling in every technology under the sun, however, would soon set the two titans on a path towards confrontation.

After becoming a force in not only the internet realm, but the mobile application world, Google naturally had an epiphany. Hey, let’s build an entire freaking mobile operating system!. It just seems to be their modus operandi, tinkering away in an attempt to build a better mousetrap. It’s like they can’t even help themselves. (An OS would also provide new and exciting vectors for advertising, their bread and butter).

The idea was to create an “open source” operating system that could run on a variety of hardware types. Manufacturers (Samsung, Motorola, and HTC, et al) were essentially free to modify the source code until the cows came home. The best part? Google would license it for FREE. Android was born.

In an attempt to keep things kosher with Apple, Google supposedly showed them a prototype cellphone. Upon seeing it, Apple requested two things. (Both due to, or at least under the guise of, patent related concerns)

The first was that multitouch gestures must be left off the device. Now unless you’re an octogenarian from the Icelandic fishing village of Akureyri, you’ll probably know that multitouch is simply the ability to register two or more touch inputs simultaneously. The gestures made possible by mulitouch however, such as “pinch to zoom” also happened to be one of the BIG selling points of the iPhone user interface. Google probably did a cost-benefit analysis and concluded that riding the iPhone’s coattails outweighed some interface eye candy on their phone, so they omitted the feature. Apple was also threatening some companies with litigation and Google probably wanted to wait and see how that would play out.

The second request was that a 3.5 mm headphone jack (the size used on almost every audio device on the planet) NOT be used. Apple claimed a patent on a 3.5 mm jack that had controls in the headphone cable as a means of controlling the media of the device. Instead of simply taking the controls off the headphone cable, Google (or HTC the manufacturer) went with an irritating proprietary USB type of connection. The result was you couldn’t even plug your existing headphones into the damn thing. Moronic to say the least.

On Oct 22nd, 2008, the first Android phone, the G1 Dream, was released. I bet you’ll be blown away to hear the two biggest criticisms were the lack of multitouch and a standard sized headphone jack!

A shot across the bow

While the G1 was humming along to strong sales and decent praise, trouble started brewing when some conflicts of interest began to emerge. In July 2009, Google introduced a friend location service called Latitude, which Apple promptly rejected from their app store. Was their objection due to privacy concerns or even legal considerations with Google? Not according to Apple, who responded with an excuse that was downright bizarre. They claimed that Latltude would be confused with the native Google Maps application, thus resulting in a poorer user experience. No one really bought this as “find a friend on the map” was simply an extra feature tacked on to the core app. Anyway, Google acquiesced (cost-benefit redux), and rejiggered it as a non-native app, it’s effectiveness gutted as it required a constant internet connection.

Curiously, around that time, Apple was filing a patent for a location based tracking service of their own. I’d wager they didn’t want Latitude to steal their thunder. A crippled version would give people a taste of the wonderful functionality, yet allow Apple a future “one up” when they rolled out their version.

And here we go again…

A few months later in Sept, the real fireworks began when Apple rejected another Google app. This time it was Gvoice, a free service that adds all sorts of crazy functionality to your existing phone line.

People were pissed, the FCC threatened to get involved, and Apple & AT&T pointed fingers blaming one another for the rejection. Since Gvoice is more of a threat to traditional phone companies, AT&T slamming the door shut on this one seemed entirely plausible.

Well, it turns out that it was Apple behind the smack down. This time, Apple claimed that the program was rejected on the grounds that it “duplicated the core functionality of the phone dialer”. In other words, the device was perfectly capable of making a call on its own, and we’re scared that the Gvoice version might be better. (That’s how it played out in my mind at least) Other apps, such as Skype, seemed to violate the duplicity rule as well, yet were still approved for the app store. (It should be noted that Skype is “crippled” and cannot utilize the high speed signal, but I just heard this restriction will be lifted in a few weeks.)

The battle lines are drawn

The app store tensions exposed the cracks of the relationship and showed that the companies were becoming leery of each other. Where the future once existed in merging their strengths in alliance, it was now clear that the only path forward was through encroaching their adversary’s turf.

Towards the end of the 2009, Apple looked to strike first. The iPhone was still selling like hotcakes, and the (then secret) iPad tablet was a few months away. Apple knew they’d have to claim a stake in the mobile advertising game in order to maximize the revenue potential of their devices. They focused their attention on buying AdMob, a vender well established in the mobile advertising world. I’d imagine the logic was akin to “Screw Google serving ads on our devices! Let’s buy a shop, serve up our own, and sleep on a bigger pile of money!” Right when the deal was in the final stages Google slipped in, thief in the night style, and swiped AdMob with a $750 million dollar 11th hour purchase.

While all the above fun was taking place, Google was gearing up to fetch a slice of the iTunes pie via a music service acquisition. Lala, an internet streaming company with some amazing technological promise, caught their eye. This time it was Apple who swooped in at the last second with an $85 million offer and was gone before Google knew what hit them.

Don’t feel bad for Apple, they eventually snapped up mobile advertising company Quattro Wireless for a paltry $275 million.

Time to play for keeps

Google’s next move couldn’t have made Apple very happy. Until then, Google had been pushing Android phones in the manner of “The new Samsung/Motorola/HTC (insert awesome name) featuring Android”. This time they decided to get involved in the hardware to make a true Google Phone, pushing their presence even further into the mobile arena. The result was what’s regarded as their current flagship Android phone, the Nexus One. The twist here, is that Google attempted to do something many believed Apple might eventually try. In a nutshell, 1) Make a phone that connects to ANY US provider, 2) Sell it directly from the website, and 3) Let the consumer do whatever with it. It hasn’t worked out entirely (yet?) as expected for Google, but that crazy type of thinking sure opened some eyes.

This time, it’s personal!

Things were quiet for a few weeks, but we recently got some new fodder. This time it was some great insight into Apple’s evolving attitude towards Google. Summary: Apparently it’s just short of searing hatred.

Check out these grenades that were tossed in Google’s direction….

“We did not enter the search business, Jobs said. They entered the phone business. Make no mistake they want to kill the iPhone. We won’t let them, he says.”

Jobs then allegedly turned to ”Don’t be evil” – Google’s unofficial motto calling it “bullshit”

Source.

These comments (true or not) took the tech blogs by storm the next day. The absence of “taken out of context, completely fabricated, we share a vision, etc, etc” talk from Apple’s camp didn’t help quell things either.

Several days later after Job’s alleged comments, Google turned up the volume with a pretty massive “screw you”. They unleashed an update to their Nexus One phone, enabling full multitouch gestures. Whatever gentleman’s agreement or patent infringement concern they previously held was just drop-kicked out the window. They then articulated the “S” and “Y” by releasing an updated Gvoice app, making a brilliant end run around Apple’s approval process. Utilizing the improved capabilities of next gen HTML5, they built a web version that’s for all intents and purposes IDENTICAL to the functionality of the rejected native app. Awesome stuff.

Two different ways to successfully skin a cat

The operating philosophies of the two companies couldn’t be more different. Apple takes the “measure twice, cut once” approach to design. The iPhone, now in it’s 3rd (and soon to be 4th) generation has changed very little from its original incarnation. There have obviously been software tweaks, but we know Apple had the master roadmap plotted out way before the first device was sold. Apple’s latest gadget, the iPad, was supposedly in the making for over a decade. Steve Jobs, unhappy with results during development, allegedly sent engineers back to the drawing board TWICE! Ten years later, with a snap of his fingers, it’ll be making its retail debut in about 7 weeks.

Google prefers to “throw things at the wall and see what sticks”. Luckily for them, the immense intellectual and financial resources at their disposal allow them to do this quite effectively. How many times have you heard about a new Google app that does X, or does Y, or does Z? If you’re listening, it’ll be practically every week. Google Mail, Maps, Earth, Docs, Reader, Goggles, Skymaps, Listen, Feedburner, Wave, Picasa, Navigation, the list goes on and on. I couldn’t imagine their thinking to be anything other than “Some things hit and others miss, but hey, at least we got the idea out of our head.” *shrug*

It’s going to be very interesting to see how these two methods clash, that’s for sure.

So what’s the point of all this?

I suppose I could have put this closer to the top, but I have a cousin that’s an ophthalmologist, and his business has been kinda slow. The point is that this impending battle is going to result in a truckload of win for the consumer. Already as a result, Android users have multitouch, iPhone users have Gvoice, Apple has taken heat and made steps to open up the App store, and Google has realized it can’t be all things to all companies. The battle currently rages in the phone arena, but it’ll likely continue into the tablet world. The iPad is now a reality, and a Google equivalent has been rumored on the horizon.

The gloves are off, and now with civility and compromise out of the picture, we have a fun ride ahead. I’m going to sit back and relish the action as these two behemoths clobber each other into a pulp. After all, the hearts and wallets of the consumer hang in the balance.

Now this is how you advertise

While you have Luke Wilson blathering away in those irritating commercials, Verizon is doing it the right way. Watch and learn AT&T! (My only pet peeve is using “better” to rhyme with itself)