Archive for January, 2010

As a few of you may have heard, Apple finally dropped their decade in the making tablet on the world. After speculation reached a fevered pitch, the iPad has now finally emerged! Behold!

An underpowered laptop or an iPod touch that’s too big for your pocket? You decide!

Look, we all expected something in the form of an iPod Touch, but we also expected that Apple would expect us to expect that, so they’d throw us a few curveballs. I rode F5 for the entire presentation from start to end, and any possibility for a surprise has now come and gone. I’d say the biggest surprise is that I’m completely underwhelmed with this product. I’m sure more details will emerge, but in the meantime, I’ll go ahead and start compiling my fail list.

I’ll add or remove items as details allow.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, (or your TV is on the fritz) you’re painfully aware that AT&T and Verizon have been engaged in a nasty public spat over their 3G (third generation high speed) networks. It all began when Big Red started running a series of “There’s a map for that” commercials. Verizon boasted that their 3G network was larger, and could offer service in places AT&T couldn’t. Big Blue of course took umbrage and responded with their own series of ads. Of course if their commercials had made a modicum of sense, I wouldn’t be typing this. The situation continued with a lawsuit (filed by AT&T), a supposed resolution, and then renewed fighting via the airwaves that continues to this day

Fun fact: In their lawsuit, AT&T claimed that their coverage map was being “misinterpreted”. What’s funny is that Verizon used the map FROM AT&T’S WEBSITE!

While all of AT&T’s ad spots have been irritating, the one linked below is just outright annoying. It’s been playing over and over and OVER, and I fear that one more view may push me past the edge.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LUKE? THIS RESPONSE IN NO WAY REFUTES VERIZON’S CLAIM, AT ALL, WHATSOEVER.

In formal debate this is called a “Red Herring”, a logical fallacy in which an irrelevant topic is presented in order to divert attention from the original issue. In everyday life, this is called stupid marketing. Now I know this is advertising and not philosophy, but the rules can’t be THAT different. The commercial makes me scream at the TV “OH COME ON NOW” before tossing my arms up in the air, and storming off to find solace (via a cold beer) in the fridge. If your selling points infuriate me, you’re probably not going to get my business.

I also don’t want to hear any “but you’re talking about it, so you’re ironically promoting that which you despise” stuff. While it’s true that I could be exposing this commercial to someone who hasn’t seen it before, the fact is this website gets 4 views on a good week. If AT&T moves a billion phones next quarter, I certainly didn’t have anything to do with it.

Anyway, you probably need to get your laundry or walk the dog in a few minutes, so here are the talking points from the ad

1) Talk on the phone while surfing on the web

Verizon (and Sprint) use CDMA technology, and due to the way it’s designed, voice and data don’t work simultaneously. That means if you’re on a phone call, you can’t surf the internet or send an email. Let me repeat that. If you’re gabbing away to your friend, you can’t pull the phone away from your head mid conversation and start jamming out an email.

For some reason, AT&T really believes this is a major deficiency on Verizon’s part and has been slamming this point home. This is one such ad about it. Here’s a zany idea, the next time you’re a mobile shout out on Cash Cab, simply ask one of the 30 people standing around you to google it. You’ll then get all the glory without doing any of the work, which is always the preferred way to go.

2) “Most popular” smartphones

This is one of those stupid “he’s one the best guys in the league” comments. This qualified statement conveys no information, and is a claim so vague, any company could make it.

Here’s my source

The Blackberry Curve (#1 selling smartphone in 2009) is available on AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, and T-mob. The BB Pearl (#3) is also available on all four US networks. Furthermore, there are many other top selling phones NOT available on AT&T such as the BB Storm (#6), G1 (#7), and the Palm Pre (#8). Other popular phones unranked due to them dropping later in the year, the Blackberry Tour, Moto Droid, and MyTouch 3G, are also not available on AT&T.

And yes I haven’t forgotten that AT&T (at the moment) has the iPhone exclusively. This fact doesn’t take away from the ability for any other network to claim they too have the “most popular smartphones’.

3) Fastest 3G Network

What annoys me the most is that this little gem, just sort of tacked on, is ACTUALLY TRUE.

Gizmodo’s 12 city speed “megatest”.

Now I know there are a few AT&T commercials that mention this, but why don’t they RELENTLESSLY TOUT this point? Make an ENTIRE ad campaign around it. Seriously. People don’t want to hear “the fastest” or see some text on the screen. Create a bunch of commercials with some real world context.

Trying to download an article before the train goes underground

Emailing a large PDF to the boss to beat a deadline

Making a split second decision to take the next exit, and waiting for the damn GPS to fetch the directions.

To me, “we’re the fastest” is a wonderful counterpoint to “we’re the biggest”. Hell, it could even be this tech generation’s “tastes great, less filling”.

What would I do differently?

First, I’d probably avoid the subject all together. If AT&T had let this pissing contest go, Verizon would likely be on to the next ad campaign by now. However, If the point MUST be addressed, address the point!

The wrong way

Verizon: Our 3G network is bigger than AT&T’s
At&t: Verizon has been talking a lot about having greater 3G coverage. We have some popular phones (that are available on every other provider), therefore their argument “starts to fall apart”.

WTF?

The right way way

Verizon: Our 3G network is bigger than AT&T’s
AT&T: Verizon’s map appears to cover more area, thus reaching more people, but this simply isn’t true. AT&T has focused it’s efforts on rolling out a FASTER 3G network with the goal of denser coverage . At the end of the day, our high speed network reaches just as many people as Verizon’s.

Or some shit like that. The point is either ignore Verizon’s claims, or address them directly.