Random things that anger me
Torched!
Aug 13th
You might have heard that RIM debuted their long anticipated slider phone, the Torch 9800, last week with a totally revamped Blackbrery OS powering it. Prior to its release, we saw the usual slew of “Will the new ‘berry make a spash?” and “RIM has a chance to shine” articles expressing how a new handset could get them back in the game.
Since the announcement, plenty of reviews have cropped up all over the intertubes. Crackberry has THE most comprehensive one, followed closely by Engadget’s very thorough (and nitpicky) version. If you want to augment your impression with other reviews, you’re welcome to, but all the information you need is in those two links.
And now time for my two cents
I felt my “Funeral for RIM” article summed up my thoughts on Blackberry fairly well, but it looks like the damn Torch will bring me out of retirement. I’ve kept up with the development of the device, read the reviews, etc, and it’s led me to howl “WTF?” a record number of times. Here are some random thoughts, in no particular order of irritation………
The Name
I’m sure I’ll eventually move on, but for now I can’t get over naming a device the “Torch” (Yes yes, plenty of other devices have stupid names as well). Hell, even the codename used while in development, Talladega, sounds cooler to me.
Alright, whatever, so you have a stupid name, it happens. Do we have some awesome pun filled marketing lines for it? For example…..
1) “The Torch will light the way for the new generation of Blackberrys!”
2) “The Torch will light a fire to the competition!”
3) “Outshine the competition, Blackberry Torch!”
Of course not, otherwise this post wouldn’t exist. Oh no, instead we get this bizarre gem…
4) “Less an evolutionary leap, more like a triple Axel”
*Insert picture of a quizzical dog with it’s head at a slight angle *
All I can say is I hope you’re a figure skating buff, because if not, that won’t make a lot of sense. Even the marketing department is failing hard these days.
There’s one last problem related to the name. The letters T O R C H look like utter garbage in the official BB lowercase font. Is it me, or does the curve of the letter O cause a slight optical illusion that makes the R vaguely resemble an S instead? Then, the R and the S compete in my mind and I see both kind of alternating. For whatever reasons (lack of sleep?), I can’t stop seeing “torsch” now. Needless to say, it’s really annoying the hell out of me.
The Overall Hardware
The Screen
As you read the remainder of this post, get ready to utter the phrase “what the hell we’re they thinking?” ad nauseum. I can’t imagine a better place to start than the screen, which happens to be not ONE, but, TWO generations behind any self respecting smart phone. Remember the Halcyon days of November 2008? It’s the last time I can recall RIM doing something called “competing”.
Here’s how it went down….
iPhone: “I have a 320 x 480 screen with 163 pixels per inch, hear me roar!”
Storm 1: “Shut the fuck up already, I’m packing 360 x 480 and have 184 ppi”
The following generation however….
Droid “480 x 854 res at 240 ppi, I am your new god!”
Storm 2: “For reals? I’m sporting the same screen as last year, 360 x 480, WTF?”
Apple was listening though…
iPhone 4 “Pfft, ok “god”, I’ll raise you to 480 x 960 and crank the ppi up to 326. Whatcha got now ya rusty old Droid?”
…yet sadly RIM remains clueless….
BB Torch “Ugh , I’m sporting the same screen from TWO years ago, 360 x 480. Why do I exist?”
I have a hunch the next Droid will step up to the plate, and the next ‘Berry will feature, you guessed it, a 320 x 480 screen.
The Processor
RIM provided an outdated touch screen as the primary interface, so why not match it with the weakest “brain” they could find?
The inclusion of 684 mhz Marvell CPU is just another in the string of bizarre hardware decisions for the Torch. I mean think it out for a moment. Your company is desperately trying to close the “superphone experience” gap with Apple and Google, so what do you do? Include a dusty, two generation old processor that will impact every usable aspect of the phone. Here’s something that truly BOGGLES my mind. The Marvell lacks a dedicated GPU, so the Torch DOESN’T even support Open GL 3D. That’s really, really bad.
I can’t fathom what type of reasoning was used to justify the final decision. I CAN guarantee, however, that a hardware engineer jumped on the table and committed ritual Seppuku during the negotiations.
The video camera
I think there’s a pattern emerging, because the phrase “two generations ago” will also be relevant for this section. Assuming RIM wanted to remain in some general parity with Apple and Android, they would have pursued one of two options.
1) Add a high Mpx camera (8 sounds nice) with HD recording ala the Droid Incredible or Droid X. This is one of the first specs that consumers look at, and they generally believe bigger is better. Who cares if a someone discovers the camera sucks after purchase, you’ve already made the sale! (Sure you can return it within 30 days, but I’ll just float a rumor that an “impending” update will fix the quality)
Anyway, I digress, this isn’t about how I would run a crooked cellphone store. Moving on….
2) Go the Apple route, which is almost the opposite of the above. Apple basically put a very high quality “back lit” sensor that allows it to offer far better performance in low light situations, the bane of cell phone Ansil Adams everywhere. On a spec sheet, it may not look as appealing as an 8 or 10 mpx device, but believe me, the word of mouth on the quality has made the rounds.
And RIM picks………neither! The camera on the Torch is a run of the mill 5 mpx that offers neither the “sizzle” of the first option, or the improved “under the hood” tech of the latter. The Droids and iPhone are both capable of shooting 720p video (24fps, 30 fps respectively), while the Torch can only capture moon landing quality at 480 x 640.
Blackberry OS 6
I’m to lazy to imagine another “hands off” review, so I’ll go easy on the OS here. I think Engadget does a wonderful job of highlighting the many oversights of the OS. For example, the unified inbox seems like a great idea, however if you want to reply to a tweet, you need to open the native twitter app and do so from there. It’s those types of silly mistakes that convey an impression of sloppy programming/bad interface design. From everything else I’ve read, the OS has universally been described as “cluttered”, “busy” and “it just looks like a fancy theme atop OS 5″.
Conclusion
Old rehashed parts, outdated industrial design, and a user interface from the Bronze Age? The conclusion is pretty obvious, if you’re into modern tech, the Torch will actually serve better as a paperweight (to prevent your Droid X rebate from flying out the office window) than a communication device.
It’s become painfully apparent that RIM is falling WAY behind on innovation. In fact, the only accolade I can bestow on the Torch is that it’s the FIRST Blackberry to be TWO generations behind its competition. That’s definitely something to be proud of, so don’t forget to take a bow before you exit stage left!
Need help?
Mar 23rd
Seeking a quality control “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?” person? Need to fill out your Chief Devil’s Advocate position? Made some technological blunders and need a new perspective? Where do I apply?
Oh, what qualifications do I have? None really, but at this juncture that’s not important. It’s not my qualifications we should be questioning anyway. I do understand how “the dance” works though, so I’ve gotten my resume all polished and ready for the world. I’ve even given it the fun title…..
“Things I WOULDN’T have screwed up”
Palm Pre as a Sprint exclusive.
The company, after years of ineptitude, was on the ropes. The only remaining option to stay in business was a bold reboot of their product line. Palm went for the gusto and prepared to rebuild their ANCIENT phone software from the ground up. (It’s rumored it was coded under Methuselah’s direct supervision) The dust settled, and the result was their new flagship phone, the Pre. It was a well crafted combination of kick-ass software and hardware. The reception was overwhelming, and it was widely believed the company had turned its fortunes around. Then, perched atop the world, Palm made the BAFFLING decision to make the Pre EXCLUSIVE to Sprint, the Oldsmobile of wireless providers. Let me get this straight, you thought people would switch TO Sprint for your device? The phone eventually arrived on other major networks, but it was A YEAR LATER, and comparable devices were already entrenched.
The G1, Google’s first phone
iPhone mania was sweeping the globe, but out for over a year, the device was getting long in the, er… antenna. The Android G1 was looming on the horizon, and was generating SERIOUS buzz. It appeared situated as the first phone that had a chance of toppling the Cupertino Monster. Had I been under Googles employ, I would have shared my secret for creating the “(insert name here) killer” phone.
But I wasn’t there, probably because eating Dinty Moore out of the can during the interview was verboten. (Let history be aware that I brought an extra fork) Needless to say, the result of my absence wasn’t pretty.
The G1 (out of the gate) FAILED to match several features the iPhone ALREADY HAD. Some genius thought they could compete with the most media-centric phone ever made by….
1) Leaving off a standard sized plug for headphones (a mistake the 1st gen iPhone made)
2) OMITTING A VIDEO PLAYER
3) Providing no default method to easily sync audio/video files
Too busy creating their own shortcomings, they didn’t get near addressing those of their competition. Remember how people were bitching about the lack of video recording on the iPhone? Well, the G1, released SIXTEEN MONTHS LATER, ALSO lacked that functionality. At that point, any new features, such as the slick compass mode street view, just weren’t enough to overcome the G1’s deficiencies.
Yoda was so disappointed with you over that.
The Blackberry Storm
One day, technopologists will look back and examine the bizarre decisions involved in creating this device.
First, there was NO WI-FI. I really can’t emphasize how much of a screw up that decision was. It’s THE MOST standard feature of any device purporting to be a smart phone, and its absence provided the worst “comparison chart” fodder imaginable. I don’t care if it was RIM’s call or Verizon’s call, it was an absolutely stupid decision. I’m sorry to say, but the moment the spec sheet was released, the device was toast.
Another irritating design choice was the omission of flick scrolling. Without it, I nearly wore a groove in the screen swiping (or I should say swipe, swipe, swipe, swiping) through an article or email. Even worse was scrolling through the eternal Blackberry user agreement after installing a new application. After downloading a few apps, the callous on my finger rivaled that of a death metal bass player.
These features WERE included in the second iteration of the phone, but it was already a day late and a dollar short.
The Nexus One
I’ll avoid the whole “getting into the hardware being a bad idea in the first place” angle. What I won’t avoid is how the launch completely botched the concept and novelty behind the phone. The idea was that people were annoyed with top tier phones such as the iPhone, Moto Droid, and Palm Pre being exclusive to a single network. Google recognized this and attempted a different approach. Essentially, build an awesome phone and make it available on ALL networks! So far so good. What Google neglected was the second critical component, the AT ONCE part. What followed was a piecemeal release schedule (over months) that makes it no different than a Blackberry Curve, which also is now also available ON ALL NETWORKS.
If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly. Read up on RIM’s “World Phone” party trick and create ONE piece of hardware that works on ANY network.
Google Buzz
Let me grab my megaphone for a moment. ATTENTION SOFTWARE COMPANIES. What ever CRAZY idea you come up with, ALWAYS MAKE IT OPT IN!
No one mentioned that automatically adding everyone I’ve EVER emailed to my social circle was, INSANE? You REALLY thought I wanted “noreply-2343453@craiglist.org” with whom I inquired about shelving in 2006 as a social contact? Words can’t describe my astonishment at this decision.
As soon as I heard about Buzz, I was all “YO BRAH, Google just FLIPPED everything up with a crazy facebook/twitter hybrid!!!”. Five minutes later, after reading about the giant security holes, I told everyone to avoid it like the plague. From what I know, millions of others did the same thing. Significant privacy changes have been made since Buzz launched, but so what? Locking the barn door after the horse bolted is a reactive and pointless approach.
Talk about fail with a capital G.
Windows Mobile 7
Microsoft announced their new phone OS to the world at the Barcelona Mobile Conference and had us SALIVATING. Their stodgy old operating system was DESTROYED and replaced with an interface that takes design cues from a Ralph Lauren Polo catalog. It’s new, it’s different, and it’s slick. (The Polo catalog look on a phone, not the catalog itself)
*sigh* Are you seeing a pattern yet? Two minor oversights have dampened enthusiasm for the upcoming software. Apparently, usability things like “multitasking” and “cut & paste” were left on the cutting room floor.
I’m trying, and failing, to understand the logic. The engineering team sat around brainstorming, coming up with crazy ideas for a phone to be released in 2011 (you know, that flying car future we’ve all been dreaming about). I assume they went down the spec lists of the competition, noting what they’re doing well, what they’re not, etc. They took all this research, incorporated it into their ideas, and settled on the feature set for windows 7 mobile. Sounds like a good way to do business, except one thing seriously perplexes me. My whole rant hinges on the premise that Microsoft is gunning for the king phone slot currently occupied by Apple. So, why wouldn’t they address multitasking, the MOST GLARING FLAW OF THE IPHONE SINCE ITS INCEPTION? It’s not like consumers and tech pundits have been bitching about it for THREE YEARS.
NOTE: Technically, W7M features multitasking because apps can run in the background. That’s to say that programs will open to the same state in which they were closed. The problem however is if the device needs more memory, the OS will arbitrarily wipe out a running process. What the hell type of engineering is that? Microsoft even employs the same excuse Apple does, blaming their half-ass implementation as a bid to conserve battery life
Nothing is worse than compounding one stupid decision with another, and that’s precisely what Microsoft has done. Since they incorporated the chief complaint of iPhone users into their OS, why not go for the gold and incorporate the second? Yep that’s right, cut & paste, a basic function of modern computing (since added to the iPhone) was omitted. According to the horse’s mouth, people don’t use that feature. Yeah, who would do something crazy like copy an address from their email and paste it into the map application?
Well, a metric ton of outrage followed, and a week later we get this gem.
*cough*
We were going to add it all along, we swear!
Yeah, right.
Un Mas Cosa
I wanted to double back and make one more appeal to RIM, because the writing is on the wall.
Blackberry and their OS dilemma
It’s been 4 months since I gave RIM some heart to heart advice. Looks like I’m going to append it a bit.
Let’s just be blunt. Right now, RIM should take the servers that store their master OS code, set them on FIRE, and launch the ashes into the sun. I actually FEEL PITY for a company with a market cap of 42 billion. How is that even possible? I guess I hate to watch a great product/company fall from grace because of factors within their control. (See Palm) RIM makes some of the most advanced devices IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND, but a few more years on their present course, and they’ll be competing with Sanyo for the $49 soccer-mom smart phone market. My GOD that’s depressing. 
It’s become painfully apparent that modern interface design is no longer RIM’s forte. Their OS has become DOWNRIGHT STAGNANT from an appearance standpoint, and the usability is going along with it. Their attempts at software have fallen pitifully short as well, like their recent attempt at a twitter app (in beta, but still) which was mocked across the web. Even worse, alleged screen shots of their next gen OS have emerged, and let me tell you, a 3rd grader could have come up with a better design
You want to change course fast? Get out of the interface business. Start by acquiring Ubertwitter and other 3rd party companies for app development. Then for the OS, go hire The Astonishing Tribe and pay them whatever they want. (TAT designed the Android interface, and are well known in the design world for coming up with insane yet practical concepts)
Finally, take a page out of MS and Apple, and stop releasing so many damn phones.
So that’s my resume
I’m fully aware that you’re not going to make everyone happy all the time. Some phenomenally talented people design these devices and have probably forgotten more than I’ll ever know. That said, there’s some serious breakdown in either the decision making or feedback process these days. I’ll also sprinkle in some willful ignorance of tech history. If product X is missing a feature, and product Y wants to topple X, then it better include the feature that X lacks. It’s common sense.
If your people don’t want to do the scouting report on the competition, I’ll be happy to, for a nominal fee =)
Call me, we’ll do beer.
Text 542542 to get ripped off
Feb 19th
These days, it seems like I’m constantly bombarded with TV ads that instruct me to text strange numbers like 13456 or 433453. While a minuscule number of these services are actually useful, the majority have little or no use at all. An example of the former is the ease in which one can make a donation to Haitian disaster relief. Click a few numbers, hit send, and you’ve hopefully made a tiny difference. The rest, however, belong to the “joke of the day” or “download an Akon ringtone” for THREE BUCKS camp. A few simple steps (use web for jokes, convert Akon track in iTunes to mp3 and copy to your phone, etc) can easily circumvent the need for such services. One company these days is especially drawing my ire, no doubt because of their irritating omnipresent ad campaign. The question “why does this company exist?” baffles me to the core of my being.
Let’s get to work, shall we?
The amount of information the data age has placed at our fingertips is beyond comprehension. There’s almost nothing a determined individual can’t figure out. Ironically, these advances have come with a downside that can offset the very empowerment they’ve provided. Researching a topic is no longer the problem, it’s making sense of the sheer volume of information returned when we’ve made a query. The signal-to-noise ratio has gotten out of control.
So enter KGB, a service that allows you to text a question to a number and have it promptly answered by a member of their extensive team of “Agents”. Each query, in addition to any carrier text rates, will cost you 99 cents. Their tagline “get answers, not links” obviously anticipates the question on everyone’s mind. Why not use a search engine?
KGB is absolutely correct, links are just an intermediary step to information. On the surface, they make a valid point. Do you want the damn answer or do you want to surf through 30,000 links to get it?. (Of course we know that you don’t actually have to surf through anything, 99% of the time the first link is all you need) To justify their existence, KGB has run a campaign of annoying TV spots (available here) that completely exaggerate the difficulty of a simple web query. (Yeah yeah, I know, the nemesis of truth, marketing, rears its head again) Take one of those infomercials where someone is trying to perform a simple task like opening a piece of Tupperware. They fiddle with it for a few seconds, flip it over and continue fiddling, and still unsuccessful, throw the container down on the table and wave around exasperated jazz hands. Yeah, KGB is saying that using Google is like that. Riiiight…..
Now I understand the need to make a buck, and an entrepreneurial spirit is fine in my book. That said, I see absolutely no need for this service. The fact is that Google, Wiki, and the web in general, don’t operate in a vacuum. Google is constantly tweaking their search algorithms and Wikipedia is always adding and refining new content. The point is they’re aware that the signal-to-noise ratio is getting out of hand, and they’re actively working to tip the scales back in our favor.
So here’s what you do to save yourself some money. Instead of wasting a dollar on KGB, (who in all likelihood is just Googling something and texting it back) take five minutes out of your life to find some reliable sites to seek information. The idea here is not to cut out the noise, but to find places free of it. Once you’ve found a few, bookmark them for future use, and let technological Darwin take care of KGB.
A problem arises
But what if don’t have a smart phone with internet, but you’re the type that needs to answer those random bar questions? You’d think you don’t have a choice other than KGB. Not true at all! You have the choice to shut your trap, enjoy your damn beer, and avoid the whole mess. Seriously, run. Run like you’re Forest Gump, on fire, being chased by the Cloverfield monster.
“Oh stop being melodramatic” you’ll just tell me, what harm could possibly come of it? Well, since I have a few extra minutes on my hands, here’s one likely scenario.
It began with an innocent query
You had a long day at work, so you decide to stop by the local watering hole for a few cold ones. The usual suspects are inside, like always, so you head over and take your place with them at the bar. Joe, to your left, is rambling about some incident at the construction site a few hours ago. The anecdote concludes with a can of WD40 saving the day. A quizzical look lingers on his face.
Say, what the hell does WD40 stand for anyway?
No one in the place has the faintest idea. You recall a commercial about “text any crazy question to…”, so you whip out your cellphone and go for it. A moment later a reply comes in. You clear your throat, and offer up the answer with a nonchalant delivery.
After 39 failed attempts at displacing water, they finally got it right, hence, Water Displacement, 40th attempt
A round of hi-fives ensues. A guy at the end of the bar, believing you might be able to answer a question that’s always bothered him, speaks up.
Hey buddy, what’s the longest word in the English language?
Once again you whip out the ‘ol phone and feverishly text away. The device emits a chirp, your answer has arrived.
Well my good man, at 45 letters that would be Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung condition you probably wouldn’t want!
His mental itch scratched, he orders you up a frosty beer on his dime. Now you’re a hit in the bar, but unfortunately you’re also a victim for anyone that’s had a random thought on the bus.
Another person approaches you.
Ok ok, my turn. You know those people that are scared of the number 13? What’s that called?
A text, a chirp.
Triskaidekaphobia is the fear, a triskaidekaphobic is the person with it.
By now, word has started to spread about “The Oracle of Joe’s Tavern”. Walter the Barfly, (who is secretly bitter at you because you won’t let your sister date him) sidles on over with a plan to show you up. At one time he was a video game developer, but he suffered a nervous breakdown at work, and found solace inside a whiskey glass. Thinking for a moment, he slurs out the most obscure thing he can come up with.
Alright genius boy, riddle me this. What’s “Cruise Elroy”?
This one will require some work, so you excuse yourself (to some razzes) for a cigarette. Once out back, you launch off a volley of messages to KGB. *chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*, *chirp*. You re-emerge, ready to attack.
Oh Walter, you incorrigible lush!
“Cruise Elroy” is a term coined by aficionados of the game Pac-Man. When a predetermined number of “dots” on a given level are consumed, the behavior of the main antagonist (Blinky the red ghost) changes. This transformation, occurring earlier and earlier as the game progresses, increases the difficulty of the game in two ways.
First, Blinky’s speed and aggressiveness goes off the charts, and Pac-Man’s ability to outrun AND outfox him, severely diminishes.
Second, and this is a big one, is that “scatter mode” is altered. Under normal conditions, the four ghosts will occasionally give up pursuit and retreat to separate corners of the map, giving the player’s cramping hand a brief respite. Under the new behavior though, Blinky will cease to care about the risk of carpal tunnel to the player and doggedly continue his chase of Pac-Man.
This aggressive state of Blinky, for unknown nerd reasons, is referred to as his “Cruise Elroy” state.
And you’re not done yet…
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the inspiration for the game came from the Japanese onomatopoeia for eating loudly, paku paku. It was originally called Puck-Man, but underwent a name change to Pac-Man when it came to the states. Company executives were worried that youthful rebellion, a magic marker, and 10 spare seconds would convert the name on the side of the machine to “Fuck-man”.
Now, does anyone have a DIFFICULT question?
The bar reacts with collective “OH SNAP!!!!” To articulate the awesomeness, you blow on each index finger and put your imaginary guns back in their holsters. A massive line then forms as each patron queues up to seek your sage advice. The Q & A continues until the bar closes.
*cue Platoon’s “The day after that big fucking battle at the end of the movie” theme*
You wake up the next morning, hungover and seriously late for work. The 323 free beers you had last night were awesome, but the savings did SQUAT to offset your phone bill which now totals $47,523.
From this point on, whenever you walk into the bar you’re peppered with a million queries. You’re now known as “Alex Trebek, King of the Barstool” or “the crazy dude glued to his phone who knows an inordinate amount of shit”. Whenever you leave the bar, your phone bill has increased by triple digits.
The burden becomes so big, you must choose between avoiding the bar forever or seeking serious overtime to cover your trivia costs. You go with the former, because your wallet simply can’t absorb being omniscient, and your mind can’t handle the graveyard shift at the meat packing plant.
Meanwhile, a few patrons were getting sick at the tavern. Unfortunately for the owner Joe, one of them happened to be a trial lawyer who brought suit. It turns out that the beer ran through vintage keg taps from England that had lead lining in them. The suit covered all current patrons of the bar, and each eventually received $35,000.
Looking for a bigger payday, Walter the Barfly managed to quintuple his settlement at a shady card game in Atlantic City. Still resentful over the Pac-Man insult and now flush with cash, he hires a team of Lithuanian hit-men to “go Cruise Elroy on (your) ass”. So now you’re forced to live life on the run, sticking to wooded areas away from civilization for maximum safety. Because your phone bill tied up you finances, you couldn’t even fill up a duffel bag with Chef Boyardee cans to bring with you. Instead, you must survive on a diet of grubs and tree bark for sustenance. From this point on it becomes cloudy what happens, but I’ll wager it’ll be unpleasant.
What does WD40 mean? Apparently a life on the lam, where roadkill is a five star meal.
See? ‘Ol Techranter warned you to mind your business and enjoy your beer!
Now this is how you advertise
Feb 5th
While you have Luke Wilson blathering away in those irritating commercials, Verizon is doing it the right way. Watch and learn AT&T! (My only pet peeve is using “better” to rhyme with itself)
A solution without a problem?
Jan 27th
As a few of you may have heard, Apple finally dropped their decade in the making tablet on the world. After speculation reached a fevered pitch, the iPad has now finally emerged! Behold!
An underpowered laptop or an iPod touch that’s too big for your pocket? You decide!
Look, we all expected something in the form of an iPod Touch, but we also expected that Apple would expect us to expect that, so they’d throw us a few curveballs. I rode F5 for the entire presentation from start to end, and any possibility for a surprise has now come and gone. I’d say the biggest surprise is that I’m completely underwhelmed with this product. I’m sure more details will emerge, but in the meantime, I’ll go ahead and start compiling my fail list.
- No multitasking? ARE YOU INSANE!
- The giant inch or so bezel around the screen drives me nuts for some reason
- No mention of adobe flash support (really banking on HTML5 are we?)
- It uses AT&T’s 3G network, which is the last one that needs the extra data traffic
- The name “iPad” is simply awful
- There’s no camera? Why would you omit that? (Answer: Planned obsolescence, i.e. it’ll be a new feature on the iPad Electric Boogaloo)
- No GPS. Mind boggling
- No removable SD card
I’ll add or remove items as details allow.
